- Be good to the environment. Global warming leads to Waterworld and that was bad enough the first time.
- Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. You never know when the next revolution will be.
- Never wear Crocs or Ugg Boots. They're fashion disabilities, not accessories.
- Drive carefully and respectfully. There's only room for one Michael Schumaker in the family.
- Practice safe sex until you're ready. If it helps, look at the before- and after-children photos of your mother and I.
- Respect your elders. One of them may just have a big fat inheritance for you.
- Be yourself. No-one else will do it for you.
- Be happy in all your endeavours. Antidepressants and therapy are expensive.
- Do research before joining a religion. At least know the extent of your hypocrisy before spouting it to others.
- Love and respect your family. You'll need someone to hide you when you're on the run from the police.
10 Life Tips for My Children
I thought I'd pen some pithy words of wisdom for my children to take note of as they embark on their journey through life (in no particular order).
